戀愛成功之道 4A法則

　　1月15日，我們公司再度成為由Hong Kong Business評選的「香港最成功的企業」之一，並獲頒「High Flyer Award 2012」獎項。躋身於滙豐銀行、渣打銀行、中華電力、富士施樂(香港)有限公司、Godiva、九倉電訊有限公司等商界人才和企業之中，我們感到非常榮幸和鼓舞，在此深深感謝一直支持我的大眾和讀者們。

　　在頒獎禮後的訪問中，最常被問到：「有甚麼成功秘訣？」首先我會坦承，不是所有的客人都找到了另一半，有人喜結良緣，也有人緣份未到。為何有人會成功，有人會失敗？失敗的原因是甚麼？是天意？運氣？還是沒遇到對的人？這些都不是主因，命運掌握在自己手中的。

　　我不會淡化實際困難，使得複雜情況變簡單，而個人的態度、思維和重擔等問題，應從精神、心理和情緒三方面著手分析。我們為客人提供專業的訓練和輔導，而最終的效果是要雙方面配合的，很多時我們盡所能提供最好的服務，但都要客人配合，才能收到成效。

　　要效果好，就要誠心誠意，而不是「口是心非」。願意聆聽和配合的人，大多數會成功，因為他們不單腳踏實地，而且虛心受教。來尋求協助的人，有些厭倦單身生活，有些曾嘗試「脫光」但失敗，有些大男人/大女人主義，有些自以為是皇帝、公主，陶醉在自己的學歷、事業和財富中，幻想某天被寵愛，這些人通常會以失敗告終。

　　我亦觀察到有學識的人不一定會成功，有些人不愛看書、有些人不愛聆聽、有些人會左耳進右耳出。有些人經常辯解，自以為是，比別人更勝一籌，直到雙方生氣乃至大吵一架。

　　所謂「少即是多」，我所分享的戀愛「成功秘訣」有4 A，即年齡(Age)、外表(Appearance)、才能(Aptitude)和態度(Attitude)。

年齡 (Age)

　　大部分香港人都犯年齡歧視的毛病，這是不爭的事實。拋開固有觀念，女士超過35歲、男士超過45歲，也要保持年輕而具活力的思維和體態，積極地面對生活。

外表 (Appearance)

　　「美」是可以很深層次的，但無論你「內在美」多好，如果你不修篇幅，都難以吸引異性注意。正如一本書的封面設計不吸引，難令人翻開來看一樣。所以請大家抽些時間用心地打扮自己，令自己「有咁靚得咁靚」，這不止在初次約會中，而要持之以恆。當你將自己打扮得好看時，內心便會感覺良好，走路和說話都會煥然一新，對自己更有自信、充滿朝氣；更會令你感到快樂、充滿正能量和更有吸引力。另外，笑得多，自然會討人喜歡。

才能 (Aptitude)

　　很多所謂受過高等教育的成功人士，其實只專於某範疇。雖然他們精通專業領域，但思維狹窄，有些是大悶蛋，有些更是對生活一無所知。如想成功，就要擴闊自己的視野、嗜好、人際關係和接收能力，對身邊的事物感興趣，令自己的生活更有趣味。

態度(Attitude)

　　有些人經常以「我有權怎樣怎樣」的態度看待生活，並且期望很高，經常要求這些那些，認為是理所當然，而報答別人的次數少之又少。這些人經常挑別人的毛病，但「嚴人寬己」，自己出錯時會一帶而過，只著眼於自己的優點。如果你是這樣的人，不妨改變自己的態度，多點付出、少點期望，學習「要付出才會有收穫」的道理。

　　雖然實行以上的「成功秘訣」未必保證會成功，但如果你根據以上的方法改進自己，總比別人行多步，會更接近成功。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Secret of Success

　　On 15/Jan/2013, we were for the second time, recognized by Hong Kong Business as one of the “Outstanding Companies of Hong Kong”, and given the High Flyer Award 2012. We are honored by this award, flattered by their recognition, and humbled to be given the opportunity to stand amongst business elites and commercial giants, including HSBC, Standard Chartered, CLP Power, Fuji Xerox, Godiva, Wharf T+T… etc. My profound gratitude to you readers and the general public for your continuous support.

　　The most frequently asked question during subsequent interviews remains the “Secret of Success”. I will be the first to admit that not everyone who comes to us finds a spouse. Many do, many don't. So why is it that some succeed and others fail ? Wherein lies the reason for their plight? Destiny ? Luck? No good candidates ? Not so. There is a lid to every pot, you make your own destiny.

　　I am not about to oversimplify a complex situation by making light of some very real problems, such as attitude, state of mind or excess baggage , be it mental, psychological or emotional. We offer coaching and counseling, plenty of it, but to a great extent we are only as good as the client is willing. He or she has to really want it to happen and not just saying that they want it to happen. People who listen, willing to work closely with us and usually succeed are realistic, modest people, some are sick and tired of being alone, some have tried their own ways before and failed. Worst are chauvinistic lord masters or princesses who are full of themselves, let their academic, career or financial achievements get into their heads, waiting to be seriously adored. These usually fail.

　　I have also learned that being wordy doesn’t help. Some people don’t bother to read, some don’t bother to listen. Some would read and listen but nothing registers. Still some may twist and turn every speck three times, then argue until they turn blue because they are infallible and always know everything better… 

　　So less is more. As far as “Secret of Success” goes, let’s just concentrate on the 4 A’s: viz. Age, Appearance, Aptitude and Attitude.

AGE

　　Most Hong Kong people discriminate against numerical age and that is a fact. For ladies over 35 and men over 45, it certainly helps to maintain a young mind, a youthful body full of vitality and a positive attitude towards life.

Appearance

　　Beauty may be skin deep, but if one is not already attracted by the cover, one is not going to read the book. So take the time, make the effort and look the best you can – not just for the first date, preferably at all times. The side effect of looking good is that you feel better about yourself. You’ll walk and talk differently, become self confident, exuberant. You are in a happier mode, which makes you more positive, more attractive; you smile more and you become more likeable.

APTITUDE

　　Many so-called “highly educated and successful” people are only experts in one field, deep and narrow, otherwise dreadfully boring, ignorant and sometimes even stupid about everything else. Expand your vision, your scope of interest, your circle of friends, your bandwidth… Learn to be interested to be interesting.

ATTITUDE

　　Some people have this sense of righteous entitlement, they expect a lot, ask for more, take things for granted, and offer little in return. Critical of others, they see their faults clearly, but completely self lenient, and see only merits about themselves. Try reversing eye glasses - offer more, expect less, learn to give in order to get.

　　The above “Secret of Success” may not carry a guarantee, but if you follow these steps, you’ll come a lot closer than if you don’t.