美國詩人T.S. Eliot對「頑固」一詞有完美的詮釋。他認為頑固、堅持己見的人「不是用上天所賦予的思考能力尋找真理，而是作無謂的堅持」，即是對某事物有頑固的堅持和信念，拒絕改變。

　　在現代男女關係中，大部分人認為年齡是最重要的擇偶條件之一，我所觀察到的香港人，大部分都犯有「年齡歧視」的惡習，對別人的年齡數字異常敏感，而且盡量避免與年齡較大的異性交往。

年齡真的那麼重要嗎？

　　大部分男人認為，女人過了36歲，「保鮮期」便差不多完結，因為適合生育的年齡「已過」。儘管男人清楚知道年齡較大的女人和自己更合拍，但仍頑固的堅持娶年輕女人為妻。英國王子查理斯便是如此，當年他認為戴安娜的外型和年齡都符合他理想王妃的條件，便娶她為妻。但很多年之後他才發覺，年齡較大、魅力指數較低的卡美拉，才是他的理想伴侶。

　　另一邊廂，大部分女人認為，男人比自己大十歲便是「太老」。她們不願意嫁給比自己年齡大很多的男人，認為對方有機會比自己早離世，令自己成為寡婦；或對方年紀太大而滿身病痛，她們要像看護般照顧對方。這些女人花了大部分青春等待年紀相若的男人，而年紀相若的男人，則在找更青春的女人做伴。久而久之，形成一個惡性循環。

　　找不到另一半，比男女比例失衡的問題更加嚴重，其實這是自作自受的惡果。如果雙方都肯讓步，不要太看重對方的年齡，幸福快樂的婚姻生活會較快成真。

　　事實上，古時農夫在田地耕作，日曬雨淋，衰老速度比現代人快很多。現在我們多在辦公室工作，家裏又有冷氣、暖氣機和抽濕機；我們懂得小心飲食，做適當運動保持健康，使用各式各樣的護膚品，衰老速度比以前的人慢。

　　近期科學研究發現，女性卵巢中的幹細胞有助不斷製造卵子。這發現打破了以往人們認為「女人天生只有400顆卵子，到了40歲便不能生育」的說法。事實上，年齡較大的女人，卵巢是有能力製造卵子的，更有不少女人年過40仍能生育。在科技發達的今天，有各式各類的抗老新產品、再生藥物、激素替代法等等。還有很多抗老的新研究，內容發布在不同的科研報章和雜誌上，更有網站轉載這些研究內容，我們不愁沒有資訊擴闊視野。而擴闊視野的首要條件，是要敞開心扉，接受不同的資訊和意見。

　　然而，年紀比丈夫輕的女人要照顧對方或活得比對方長的說法，只是一個假設。很多女士早於丈夫離開人世，例如保羅‧麥卡尼的妻子蓮達在56歲時因乳癌離世、布洛斯南的第一任妻子卡桑德拉‧哈里斯，39歲時因子宮癌時離世……大家要明白，死亡是有可能發生在任何人和年齡身上，你能保證自己的壽命嗎？如果不能保證的話，你還要花更多青春，等待一個不知道會不會出現在你生命中的那個「他」嗎？

　　如男士們自設「年齡限制」，堅持拒絕約會「超齡」的女士，還傻傻地認為自己終會找到一個年輕貌美的女人；如女士們堅持不與比自己年齡大十歲的男人約會，還認為自己可等到一個與自己年紀相若的男人，都是太偏執頑固。

　　為了自己的幸福著想，請改掉偏執頑固的性格。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Being Pertinacious

　　The best description of “Pertinacious” was perhaps given by T.S. Eliot, who said someone pertinacious of opinion is “a mind not gifted to discover truth but tenacious to hold it". It refers to the kind of dogged, perverse persistence one hangs on to certain beliefs and the dour determin-ation to refuse change.

　　In relationship matters between the modern man & woman, there is no more pertinacious opinion than that of “Age”. It is not irresponsible to observe that Hong Kong people are viciously guilty of age discrimination. We are hypersensitive to people’s numerical age, and we have this pathetic tendency to recoil from high numbers.

AGE

　　Men generally believe that women 36 and over have their “best by date” on the verge of expiry because their child bearing years are “over”. This explains why they would implacably plod on to marry the younger women knowing full well that the older women may well be more compatible. Prince Charles would be a case in point. He picked Diana because her age and appearance suited the image of the wife he thought he should have. It took him years to realize that the much older, less attractive Camilla is in fact a far better choice.

　　On the flip side of the coin, women mostly consider men, say ten years or more their senior way “too old”. They are reluctant to marry such men for fear of becoming widows or caregivers too soon. Hence, the unmarried woman would spend a greater part of her youth, or what’s left of it, waiting for the younger man who is waiting for the much younger woman. It becomes a vicious circle, and hence the shortage of partners becomes more acute than the gender imbalance in fact warrants – agony quite self inflicted. If indeed both sexes would only step back a pace and accept partners for the people they are instead of how old they are, a lot more happy marriages would take place a lot sooner.

　　The truth is, in the days of yore when people were farmers slogging in the fields rain or shine, they aged quickly. Today we work in offices & live in homes equipped with air conditioners, heaters & dehumidifiers, exercise and eat conscientiously, use sun block and skin care products… we age drastically slower and the 60’s are now the new 40’s.

　　The latest scientific research has found stem cells in women’s ovaries they believe generate new eggs. This is busting the old myth that a woman is born with all her 400 eggs and they rot at 40… In fact, older women do produce new eggs, and many continue to bear children way after the age of 40. Indeed, today’s world is inundated with all sorts of anti-aging researches & products, regenerative medicine, bio-identical hormone replacement …and millions of new findings all explicitly explained in medical newsletters, longevity magazines, and there are probably more health websites in cyber than one could possibly surf… There is no shortage of information to widen one’s horizon, but the mind needs to be opened to let anything in.

　　Conversely, that a younger wife will definitely outlive an older husband or be his caregiver is equally presumptuous. Olga Picasso left Pablo at 62… Linda McCartney left Paul at 56. Liam Neeson lost his Natasha at 45. Cassandra Harris left Pierce Brosnan at 39. President Thomas Jefferson’s wife Martha passed away at 33. Edgar Allan Poe’s wife Virginia died when she was only 24. It can happen to anyone, at any age. Do you know for sure how long you will live? You don’t and yet you are willing to grow old waiting for that younger man who may or may not come along?

　　If you Sir, still obdurately refuse to date a woman beyond your self- imposed “age limit”, and pig-headedly persist in finding that younger woman come what may…. And if you Madam, still adamantly refuse to date the “older men”, rather insist on waiting for that younger man not more than several years your senior… That is all being dreadfully pertinacious. 

　　Please, for your own sake, let it go.