24/11/2015
為咩要結婚?
Mei Ling
Mei Ling
廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。
Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。
Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。
著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships鑽石媒人Mei Ling
上星期在中環,有一群約30出頭至40歲的請願人士邀請我簽名支持他們的訴求。他們希望保住我們的海港,保護臭氧層,改善環境並令香港成為一個更宜居的地方。言談間,我問他們有否結婚,又有沒有小朋友,他們聽後笑了。8人當中只有2人已婚,而且沒有小朋友。
結婚與否及如何促成一段婚姻是一個飽經歷練後作出的決定,這個決定需要成熟的思維與滿滿的智慧。問題是這個決定不能待至萬事俱備、年近半百之齡才叫準備好,反而是在二三十年前,那不踏實、不切實際、不現實的芳華正茂之時開始。所以年輕男女早該了解婚姻這回事。
先從極為自私的角度來看。在過去的150年來,大量研究確定已婚人士較單身者更長壽並活得更開心。最近,在位於俄亥俄州的鮑林格林州立大學的國際中心,負責家庭及婚姻調查的中心副主任Susan Brown發表了一份再次肯定這些研究的報告。去年,哈佛大學的研究人員發現,已婚人士明顯較未婚者更容易在癌症初期發現患病及尋求治療,因癌症而死亡的人數亦較單身者少。
HealthResearchFunding.org (HRF)的研究更進一步探討問題。它於上月發表的研究顯示已婚男較單身男長壽17年,而單身男的死亡風險較已婚男高出32%,原因是未婚、離婚或喪偶的男士在飲食上較已婚男士差,運動量亦較少,而且更容易沉迷菸酒及垃圾食物。已婚男有抑鬱的風險較低,有更美好的退休生活,生活質素亦更高,而且更懂得交際,不善社交的單身者死於心臟病的機率較已婚者高出82%;已婚者的認知能力更佳,患上老人癡呆症的風險亦較小。
用一個不只顧自己的角度來看,大部分人或還以為人口老化是一個長遠又與自己有一段距離的問題,由人口政策督導委員會發佈的諮詢文件來看,香港人口老化的速度較預期快。明年的年齡中位數達44.4歲,在2036年前會升至50.7歲。世界衛生組織預計在 2050年前,有四成的香港人口年齡大於65歲,而香港會在全球的人口老化城市中排行第五,「活力香港」將成歷史。
在1961年,香港的出生率是平均每1千名女人誕下34.3個嬰兒,到了2013年,我們的出生率降至平均只有8個嬰兒。人口老化的問題是前所未有的失衡。這個全球現象蔓延遼闊,不論男女及孩子均受其影響,為人類生活的各方面帶來深遠的影響。在短短數年間,我們的勞動人口將持續下跌。假若坐視不理,人口老化的問題將深深影響我們的社會經濟發展及公共財政,綜合社會保障援助及醫療上的開支之大實在難以長期支撐下去。
尋找終生伴侶及建立家庭不再是一個「個人」的問題。對於一班已到了生兒育女年齡的成年人,撫育孩子不只是個社會責任,更是為香港的未來負責。其他人亦不置身事外,你的終生伴侶與他 / 她的家庭亦有助減輕這個社會負擔。簡單而言,我們有責任去認真地、有策略地及早完成這個任務,並要視之為當務之急,積極地解決。
不要待為時已晚才行動。如果你的年紀已夠大去理解這篇文章,你的年紀已夠大去為此籌謀了。
(按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)
Why You Should Get Married
A group of people in early 30’s to mid 40’s protesting in Central last week approached me and asked me to sign their petition. They wanted to save our harbor, protect the Ozone layer, enhance the environment and make dynamic Hong Kong a better place. I asked whether or not they are married and how many of them have children ? They laughed. Only 2 out of 8 are married and both claimed they do not want any children.
Whether or not one should get married and how to go about it - is a decision of such magnitude it actually requires profound wisdom of a seasoned mind, matured by the baptism of life experiences. The problem is, this is not a decision one can comfortably make at the age of 50 when one is ready and wise, but 2-3 decades earlier when one is still young and frivolous, impractical and unrealistic. Hence it is of utmost importance that young men and women should start familiarizing with this topic early.
Beginning from a strictly selfish point of view - A great deal of research conducted throughout the past 150 years have generally confirmed that married people live longer and happier than singletons. A recent report published by Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio reconfirmed these findings. Last year, Harvard University researchers found that married people were significantly more likely than unwed folks to detect cancer in their early stages and to seek treatment, hence less married people die of cancer than singles.
HRF (HealthResearchFunding.org) went even further. It has just published a statistical report last month calculating meticulously that married men live 17 years longer while single men’s risk of death is 32% higher because unmarried, divorced and widowed men tend to eat less well than married men, are less likely to exercise and more likely to indulge in alcohol, cigarettes and junk food. Married men also have a lower risk of depression, a happier retirement, a higher standard of living and are more sociable. Singletons who are less sociable have 82% higher risk of dying from heart disease.. Married men have better cognitive function and a smaller risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
Now from an unselfish perspective – Whereas many people may still perceive population ageing as a long term and distant subject, the consultation document released by the Steering Committee on Population Policy revealed that our population would age at a faster pace than previously expected. The median age of Hong Kong will hit 44.4 next year and 50.7 by 2036. WHO predicts that 40% of Hong Kong’s population will be over 65 years old by the year 2050, making us the fifth oldest city in the world – which would spell the end of “Dynamic” Hong Kong.
In 1961, Hong Kong’s birth rate was 34.3 babies per 1000 women. In 2013, our birth rate dropped to 8 babies per 1000 women. Population ageing is unprecedented and without parallel in human history. This global phenomenon is pervasive , it affects every man, woman and child and it has profound implications for many facets of human life. In just a few year’s time, our workforce would embark on a persistent decline. Under a “do-nothing” scenario, population ageing could entail profound implications to our socio-economic development and public finance. The increase of CSSA and medical expenditure is not sustainable in the long term.
Finding a life partner and building a family is therefore no longer just a “Personal” problem. Those of child bearing age, having children becomes a social responsibility, and an obligation towards Hong Kong’s future. Those not of child bearing age, a life partner and his/her extended family would still help to reduce society’s burden. In brief, we have the duty and urgent imperative to be pro-active, to tackle this “job” of finding a spouse seriously, strategically and early.
Do not put it off until it is too late, if you are old enough to read this article, you are old enough to start planning about it.
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