中國人有一句說話：有麝自然香。不少在北美洲工作的華人，亦有此美德。

於是他們埋頭苦幹，付出120%的努力，通宵達旦，把老板交托的工作做好，好讓這些下午二時便鎖房門、到高球場“開會”的老板，只需將報告右下角那行小字修改一下，由:

Prepared by: Hardworking (Your name here)

改成:

Prepared by: Credit taking (his/her name here) （Take credit –“領功”是也）便可完功大吉。

這些默默耕耘、但溝通時未能一針見血地表達己見、又不善長推銷自己的老實員工，在以印象取勝的北美社會，最為吃虧。

從香港來的Karen，是加拿大某非牟利機構公關部的Specialist。

Karen十年來也沒升過職，近兩年公司更以經濟環境為理由，沒有調整薪金。

某次當其公司有空缺時，莉莉便順口向其大老板提提這位難得一見的實力派員工。

“I know Karen is hardworking and meticulous.”大老板回應說。

“I just find her not very clear and crisp in her communications. What do you think? (Meticulous：細心、一絲不苟、Crisp：幹淨俐落)

翻看Karen犮出的電郵，又發現的確有不少累贅的句子。

“After weeks of investigating the issue, I am glad to inform you that I have ascertained the origin of the problem, which in my opinion, can be refrained from happening should staff be requested to abide by the customer service guidelines that were provided to them upon commencement of their employment.”

Karen雖然衣著時尚，有現代感，但見其陳舊、官腔的電郵時，你可能以為她是一個穿宮廷式大傘裙、滿頭蛋卷曲發、密密手拍羽毛扇的維多利亞年代女士。

不要小看Email，短短幾句話便能點到即止，還要強而有力地傳情達意，絕對考功夫。首先要避免使用的，是那些看似非常專業、但除了給人“扮（口野）”外，其它一無是處的矯飾用詞。

例如ascertain (確定、查明) 、refrain (抑制)、 abide by (遵守) ，以及 commencement （開始）等都是一些矯揉造作的用字。

將上述的句字修改一下，用 found (取替 ascertain)、avoid (取替refrain)、 follow (取替abide by) 以及 begin/ start (取替commencement) ，就較容易為人理解。

在今日一切以簡結為主的通訊世界，如Karen電郵中長而無當的句式，實可免則免：
 

“I am glad to inform you”
“the origin of the problem”
“in my opinion”
“be/are requested to”
“upon commencement of their employment”

鐘情臃腫的句子結構，再加上中國人喜歡畫公仔畫出腸、事事要由零說起的習慣，難怪不少朋友寫的句子，往往流於長遍累贅。

有些鑽研電子通訊的專家，更認為每一句只應表達一個中心思想，以方便對方理解。在人人旨用 Blackberry 收發電郵的年代，這點就更為重要。

試比較以下兩封電郵內容，大家認為後者是否較簡潔清楚？

“After weeks of investigating the issue, I am glad to inform you that I have ascertained the origin of the problem, which in my opinion, can be refrained from happening should staff be requested to abide by the customer service guidelines that were provided to them upon commencement of their employment”

“After detailed investigations, I have concluded/found that the problem of an increasing number of complaints can be avoided if staff had followed the customer service guidelines.”